Wait and See

Wait and see....how many times have you heard this in your lifetime? It's something about yearning for everything to finally be okay in the future and you want to hurry up and get there to experience this made up utopia. When you were younger there was always some sort of goal or reward attached to the "wait and see." Did you make a team? Were your parents going to take you to the lake after they finished working on the lawn? Could your friend spend the night? Were you going to get the interview your boss promised? So many wait and see's come flooding in from my past distant and not so distant.

So if you spend your whole life in the wait and see mode what does that leave for experiencing the now and being in the presence? If your body is tense with anticipation and your mind focused on the what if's how are you going to enjoy the now and be physically and mentally in this very moment right now in front of you. I have to believe that one moment is not more precious or less valuable than another and it is in your personal choice how each moment is categorized in your memories throughout your lifetime.

Most of the time we spend our energy on waiting for what we want to be and not what is meant to be. So how do you flip the stitch and live in the moment. How do you keep your attention focused are the right here and now? It seems like for most of my life I've been training myself to escape the present moment. A lot of it as a child was filled with pain and loneliness and it always seemed so much safer to escape to the moments just around the corner or even into the distance future where if I just waited long enough everything would be okay and better than okay it would be life that I spent most of my time dreaming about. Looking back over almost forty years I realize that I left a lot of moments untouched and unused in the physical sense and knowing that I can't buy those times back I have to shift my focus on the here and now and retrain myself.

One way in which I'm going to do this is to dedicate time each day to writing where it is fair ground to let my mind wander and dream and focus on the wait and sees and the what ifs, knowing that for the rest of the day it is my soul intent to focus on the moment at hand and try to be fully present with each of my three children and myself. To make sure that I focus on what is happening right in front of me and making sure that I am doing my best to be open, create, and to love what is most important in my life. To make sure that they know that I am here for them and to help guide them to live in the moment and be present for life for this is where we learn the most about ourselves and the world we live in...the here and now.

My writing is going to be scattered at best as I forge ahead in this new territory and I'm not going to try to write what I think people want to read and what they think is safe. Life is messy and full of wrong turns and uncertain actions and emotional chaos. But then life is also very simple and rewarding when we step out of our own way. When we give in to the flow of our own creative ideas and thoughts when we act on what we feel and not what we think. It's when we make this connection between our soul and our body and carry out its intent that the real magic begins to take place...when we act out of love and not fear we find the sweet spot in life and regardless of the outcome we know that in that very moment we did our ultimate best and there is nothing more rewarding in life.

My brother said love fear, but don't ever fear love. It's sinking in and I'm beginning to get it. A good friend said fear is one of the greatest motivators in life and that it is healthy. Yes that's true if we can embrace the fear for what it is - a motivating force not something meant to inhibit our creative actions. If we are always running from fear when we will ever have time to create the magic? When will we have time to forge new relationships which are based on truth and doing good for each other. If we are running from fear it is our instinct to put up barriers around ourselves from people or new experiences. If we can recognize that fear can help push us in a certain direction to overcome an obstacle or old life pattern than embrace the fear and use it to obtain a positive outcome in your life.

So instead of waiting around to see what will happen why don't you take a break from wishful thinking and live a little in the present moment.