It's that feeling right before you start out on vacation or move to a new town or start a new school that reminds me that we're meant to change and grow. It's that stirring inside that you feel when you're asked to step into something new and you're not sure of how it's going to turn out. My son just recently started jumping off bridges. A mother's worst nightmare has come to life and I'm left sitting in a new place. Without doubt I'm excited for my son to be embracing life searching for new experiences, stepping out from the comfort of his room and taking chances, but then fear sets in and if I let it worry floods in about all the possible outcomes.
There are two motivating factors in life. CWG by Neale Donald Walsch explains how every decision, choice and action we make in life springs from one or the other. Love and Fear are what makes each of us tick and if we look at each choice we make it will open our eyes and hearts to what we are choosing for ourselves. I grew up with fear. I'm learning how to live with love.
Sue just sent me a text...she is my soul sister and has in only her way taught me the true meaning of unconditional love. She was raised in love and surrounds herself in love...it's not to say that fear doesn't find a way in to her life sometimes it just means that the majority of her decisions and actions come from love not fear. Growing up in my family I worked hard at creating a facade and pleasing everyone for fear of what they would think if they knew the real me or what happened in my house. I became an amazing people please and sacrificed myself even for strangers to make sure they were happy and had what they wanted. I continued this trend into my thirties as a wife, mom, employee, and friend. Then something happened in my life that made it impossible for this to be my full time job. I slowly started making decisions and choices made from love an I slowly started seeing my life move in a direction it had never seen before.
So here I sit in "limbo" well at least that is what it feels like. Certain pieces of my old life are peeling away and I'm having to make the most difficult choices.
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